Unconditional Love or Conditional Love?

Let me tell you how I experienced it with my dog Max

May 01, 2026

Unconditional love is one of the characteristics we’ve heard and read about when it comes to what dogs teach us, something they practice so naturally that there’s no doubt they know their purpose in life. But have we really taken the time to ask ourselves, to dig deeper into it, to truly explore the topic? Is it something we’ve genuinely learned from our dogs, or are we just repeating it because we’ve heard it so many times that we accept it as truth? And even though we see that love every day, are we really applying it, with ourselves, with our dogs, with our families, our friends, the people around us?

And so, what is unconditional love, really? How do you interpret it?

They say it’s when someone is there for you when you need them, without asking for anything in return. Beautiful, right? But is it truly unconditional, or is it still conditional deep down?

This is my interpretation.

Unconditional love doesn’t depend on your dog behaving exactly as you expect in order to deserve your affection. This love is there on the good days and on the hard ones. It doesn’t judge right away, it observes, holds, and seeks to understand. It doesn’t mean allowing everything or forgetting yourself. It means loving with presence, patience, and healthy boundaries.

Conditional love, on the other hand, is only given when the other meets what you expect. I give you affection if you behave. I pay attention if you do what I need. Instead of seeking to understand, it reacts with judgment, distance, and punishment.

And these two kinds of love have a very thin line between them. You can cross it without even realizing.

With this in mind, what kind of love is yours? Conditional or unconditional? Maybe both, and that’s okay. We’re not here to judge or punish ourselves. What matters is that you notice it and catch yourself in those moments of impatience, or even in the moments when you love your dog so much that setting limits feels impossible. The idea is to find that balance, and that balance is born when love comes first, before the expectation.

And what does that love look like? A love where everything you do comes from a pure place: where you communicate from love, act from love, feel the other from love, express from love. A love that sees beyond what a mischievous puppy might look like on the surface. They’re not trying to bother you, I promise. They don’t want you to get upset with them. They always want to make you happy and will do whatever it takes to make that happen, even if it means being corrected or ignored.

I wrote that and it made me sad, because they don’t deserve that. They’re so sweet and so pure. They deserve love and understanding, nothing less.

And here comes a story from my experience with Max.

Max normally goes to the bathroom every day. There are days when he just doesn’t feel like it and that’s fine, though those days are very few. The day this story begins was one of those. Physically he looked fine and seemed to be in good spirits, or so I thought, because inside his system seemed to be feeling something different. As the day went on, that energy started to fade. He didn’t want to eat, he wasn’t moving much, and that started to worry me.

I didn't rush him to the vet right away because sometimes he gets like that when he swallows a sock, classic Golden stuff, so I waited a little. The next day he was still the same, no energy, not eating, not going to the bathroom. I couldn't wait any longer. I called the vet, explained what was happening, and they said: come in right now, we'll be waiting for you. I grabbed my keys, my bag, and we left.

Max at the Vet and after the Vet sleeping.

They took him for X-rays and the doctor came back with news: there was a large object in his intestines blocking everything. I immediately thought of a sock or a piece of cardboard he’d torn apart a few days earlier. We had two options: surgery or wait for the object to complete its journey on its own. Surgery was not an option for me. I didn’t want to put him through that. So I took the medications home and asked God and the whole heavenly team for divine intervention so that thing would come out victorious.

I followed the treatment to the letter. That included waking up twice in the middle of the night to give him his medications on schedule. Whatever it takes for my boy.

Max felt so terrible that even food, one of his favorite things in the world, didn’t interest him. He only drank a little water. He didn’t wag his tail. He barely got up unless he had to. His whole body was in shutdown mode, on high alert.

Seeing him like that broke my heart, and I wanted to be there for him in whatever way he actually needed. I had so many questions about how to do that, so I turned to my oracle cards, which I love reading from time to time. I needed to connect with Max and know exactly what he needed in that moment.

I took the deck, pulled a card, and asked: what does he need from me right now?

The card that came out was so beautiful that I said: wow. I put everything down and give myself fully to Max.

It was about presence. Being there for him. Letting him feel my unconditional love, because even though we were going through this challenge, the only thing he was asking for was that I stay. He didn’t need me worried. He didn’t need me running around doing a hundred things. He didn’t need me asking how he felt and waiting for a blink as a yes. He needed my presence. He needed me beside him, petting him, talking to him, staying patient through the process, holding him emotionally, and trusting that everything would be okay. He was asking for what they give us by default: unconditional love.

I’m about to cry writing this. I’m sorry, I’m a big crier, even if you can’t see me. I cry a lot when it comes to these things.

So I stopped doing everything and lay down next to him on the floor. I talked to him about how good he’s been, how well he was doing, that he’d feel better soon. I thanked him for everything he’s taught me, for the light he’s brought into this home, for all the love he’s pulled out of us just by being here. I just stayed.

While I was talking to him, he fell asleep. His little body, which had been on high alert, finally rested. I let him sleep in peace and kept gently petting him.

That day I understood unconditional love. It’s not just preparing his food. It’s not just playing with him when he asks or going to the park when he’s full of energy. It’s also being still, in silence or talking to him, without rushing, without frustration, without blame. Being there from the love I feel for him, the same way he’s been there for me in so many moments when I’ve needed his calm.

About four days passed through that process. The morning after I’d lain down on the floor with him, I walked over and he wagged his tail. I was so happy to see that tail move. He got up with energy, walked into the living room looking happy and light. My husband and I were so relieved.

We took him outside and he got into position to release the mysterious object.

My husband and I looked at each other, surprised and genuinely emotional. We turned around and gave him his space and his time. Though we did have to lend a hand because that thing was much longer than we expected and he couldn’t finish the job on his own.

What we found was a very impressive sock that came out of Max’s behind. A long one. We had no idea where he’d gotten it because we don’t have socks like that at home, those long baseball-style ones. We had visited my sister’s house before all of this, so it probably came from there.

Thank God and everyone involved that it came out naturally. I trusted he was going to do it without needing surgery.

That same morning the vet called to check on Max’s progress. They were as happy as we were. It’s always a good thing to have people who care about your dog as much as you do.

Our presence will always have a positive impact on them. Always. The love is never wasted, and it’s never enough to give. They want us by their side every moment. We’re part of their pack now, and for them, we always will be. Giving them that unconditional love, and letting them feel it, is something they need to thrive.

Tell me in the comments: when was the last time your dog showed you unconditional love exactly when you needed it most?

You can share how you’re living the bond with your dog right now, whether you’ve caught yourself loving with conditions without realizing it, or what reflection came to you while reading. Whatever feels right to share is perfect. Max and I would love to hear from you.

Mafer AP

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